Raising Gifted Kids: What Parents Want to Know
- Julie Church
- Apr 1
- 5 min read
Raising Creative Thinkers in a Rule-Bound World
By Danielle Sullivan, Ed.D.
“Curiouser and Curiouser”
In Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland, Alice tumbles into a world where the rules shift constantly. Nothing behaves quite the way she expects. At one point she looks around and declares that everything is becoming “curiouser and curiouser.”
Many creative thinkers experience the world in a similar way.
They notice patterns others overlook.They connect ideas that seem unrelated.They ask questions that make others pause.
And very often, they begin with a simple question:
What if?
That question is often the spark that opens a whole world of possibilities.
But the world children grow up in does not always reward that kind of thinking.
A World Built on Rules
Most of the systems children grow up in depend on structure.
Schools have schedules.
Assignments have instructions.
Problems often have one correct answer.
These structures help people learn and work together.
But creative thinkers sometimes experience them a little differently.
Instead of only asking “What is the answer?” they may also wonder:
Why does it work that way?
Could there be another solution?
What would happen if we tried something different?
These questions are not meant to challenge authority. They are signs of exploration. Creative thinkers often test boundaries because boundaries help them understand how things work.
Picasso Thinkers
If thinking styles were paintings, some children would paint careful landscapes.
Straight lines.B
alanced shapes.
Familiar scenes.
Other children might paint more like Picasso.
Unexpected angles.
Bold colors.
Ideas that refuse to stay neatly inside the frame.
Both styles of thinking are valuable. But the Picasso thinkers sometimes grow up in systems that expect neat landscapes. When that happens, they may begin to wonder whether their way of thinking belongs. It does. In fact, many breakthroughs in science, art, and technology have come from people who saw the world from unusual angles.
Believing Six Impossible Things Before Breakfast
In one of the most famous lines from the story, the White Queen says she sometimes practices believing “six impossible things before breakfast.”
Creative thinkers often begin in a similar place–they imagine possibilities that do not yet exist.
They picture new inventions.They test unusual ideas.They ask questions that stretch beyond what is already known.
To others, these ideas can sometimes seem unrealistic at first. But imagination is often the first step toward discovery. Many important ideas began as possibilities that sounded impossible.
Protecting “Muchness”
In a later adaptation of the story, a character tells Alice that she has lost her “muchness.” The word describes the spark that once made her unmistakably herself.
Creative children sometimes hear messages that sound similar.
“Just follow the directions.”
“That’s not how we do it.”
“Stop overthinking it.”
“You’re making this harder than it needs to be.”
Most of the time, these messages are not meant to discourage creativity. They are simply reflections of systems designed to keep things orderly and predictable. But when children hear them too often, they may begin to wonder whether their unusual ideas or imaginative questions truly belong. That’s when encouragement from others becomes especially important.
Parents who listen, laugh, and make room for unusual ideas help children hold onto that spark. They help children keep their muchness.
Making Space for Imagination
In a world filled with schedules, assignments, and expectations, creativity needs breathing room. Not every moment needs to be structured or productive. Creative thinking often grows when children have time to explore, imagine, and experiment with their own ideas.
Some of the most meaningful creative moments happen during ordinary parts of the day–unstructured play, long conversations, curious experiments, or starting something one way and ending somewhere unexpected.
When adults make space for these moments, children receive an important message: Your ideas are worth exploring.
The Gift of Seeing the World Differently
Creative thinkers sometimes feel a little out of step with the world around them.
They may notice possibilities others overlook..They may imagine solutions that don't fit neatly inside the expected lines.
They may ask questions that seem unusual.
But throughout history, many people who helped shape our understanding of art, science, and technology began as children who saw the world from unexpected angles.
The landscape painters and the Picasso thinkers both have a place in the world.
And sometimes the ideas that first sound impossible—the ones that might make someone pause and say “that’s not how it’s usually done”—are the ideas that lead to discovery.
Many of the people who change the way the world works began as children who asked questions others hadn’t considered.
Raising a creative thinker can feel unpredictable.
But it can also be joyful.
The children who once asked, “What if?” often become the adults who change what is possible.
Continue the Conversation
Creative children often surprise us with the way they see the world.
What is something imaginative, unusual, or unexpected your child has created or imagined recently?
If this article reminded you how valuable creative thinking can be, consider sharing it with another parent who might enjoy the reminder.
Check out other articles in this series:
Foundational Myths & Mindshifts (Weeks 1–4)
Sets the tone: validating, myth-busting, and emotionally grounding for parents.
Helps parents recognize real cognitive engagement vs. busywork or perfectionism.
Addresses parent isolation and introduces the idea that community matters
Positions NCAGT as a guide for parents navigating supplemental challenge and advocacy.
Understanding How Giftedness Really Works (Weeks 5–8)
Helps parents understand perfectionism, self-imposed pressure, and executive function gaps.
Normalizes emotional intensity and introduces emotional tools.
A deeply relatable topic for parents and a smooth bridge to the “why” articles ahead
A keystone article explaining asynchronous development, masking, boredom, and uneven profiles.
Identity, Labels, and Belonging (Weeks 9–12)
Clarifies identity, stigma, pressure, and how to discuss the label in a healthy way.
The long view: careers, relationships, perfectionism, and mental health over time.
Pairs with Week 7 but expands into neurodivergent social patterns and peer matching.
Reframes expectations and debunks the “smart = easy success” misconception.
Support, Advocacy & Family Life (Weeks 13–17)
Shows why gifted learners need scaffolding, depth, complexity, and peer groups.
Discussion about how self-protection leads to undesirable behaviors that can be corrected through a collaborative approach.
A richer, deeper follow-up to Big Feelings; explores regulation, sensitivity, and internal experience.
Practical, gentle, culturally responsive support parents can use right away.
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