Raising Gifted Kids: What Parents Want to Know #4
- Julie Church
- 2 days ago
- 3 min read
When School Isn’t Enough
By Danielle Sullivan, Ed.D.
The ride home tells you everything. “How was school?” “Fine.” But the slump in their shoulders says otherwise.
It feels backward, doesn’t it? We’re used to worrying when school is too hard.
For gifted kids, the struggle is often when it’s too easy.
Even the best teachers can’t feed every spark, answer every question, or move at every speed.
That’s not failure—it’s reality. And it’s your cue to help your child rediscover learning as something joyful, not just something graded.
Why This Happens
Gifted learners often think faster or deeper than the classroom pace allows. When that match isn’t right, they can feel stuck between ability and opportunity. You might notice your child:
Come home frustrated, fidgety, or zoned out.
Hide their abilities to blend in with peers.
Lose motivation because everything feels repetitive.
Feel emotionally drained from masking boredom all day.
Lash out at home because they held it together at school.
Stop taking academic risks for fear of standing out or making mistakes.
Develop physical symptoms of stress — headaches, stomachaches, trouble sleeping.
Say they “hate school,” when what they really hate is never feeling challenged or understood.
School can cover content, but it can’t always feed curiosity.
Teachers work hard to meet the needs of every learner, but the system isn’t built for kids who leap ahead or think sideways. The faster they move, the more waiting they do. The deeper their questions, the less time there is to ask them. Over time, curiosity starts to fade—not because kids stop caring, but because there’s nowhere for their wonder to go.
That’s where you come in—not as a teacher, but as the person who keeps that spark alive when the school day can’t.
What Parents Can Do
You don’t need a teaching degree or a Pinterest-perfect plan. You don’t need extra lessons or costly materials. You just need to give curiosity a place to live.
Follow their questions.
When your child asks, “Why does the moon change shape?” or “Who decides what words mean?”—pause. Explore it together. Look it up, watch a short video, or just wonder aloud.
Turn curiosity into creativity.
Ask, “What could we make or try?” A cardboard invention, a short story, a new recipe—anything that lets thinking turn into doing.
Give permission to go deep.
If your child loves something, let them live there for a while. Read every book on ancient Egypt, bugs, or space. Depth builds persistence and pride.
Redefine learning as play.
Curiosity doesn’t have to look serious. Collect rocks, test how far paper airplanes fly, build forts, or write a silly family story. Play is learning.
Model wonder.
Let your child see you curious too: “I never thought about that—let’s find out!” This tells them learning isn’t something you outgrow.
Set boundaries around pressure.
Not every moment needs to be “productive.” If curiosity turns into competition, step back. Gifted kids need rest and imagination as much as rigor.
Small Steps to Try This Week
Not every family has the same time, tools, or routines — and that’s okay. Curiosity grows anywhere. Try one or two of these ideas:
Ask instead of tell. “What’s something you wish you could learn that we don’t do at school?” (Or in younger terms: “What’s something you wish we could figure out together?”)
Bring curiosity into daily life. Turn errands or car rides into mini-learning adventures. Play the alphabet game—find something that starts with each letter—or ask, “What do you notice that’s new today?”
Swap the library for what’s local. If visiting a library isn’t easy, explore what’s already nearby: a park, a grocery aisle, a construction site, a family story. Curiosity lives in everyday places.
Create together, not just read. Draw, build, sing, dance, or cook. Let your child teach you something they love.
End one day this week with a question, not an answer. Ask, “What made you curious today?” and listen without correcting or solving.
The Bottom Line
When school isn’t enough, curiosity fills the gap. Learning doesn’t have to come from a classroom or curriculum—it can grow from wonder, questions, and shared discovery.
Sometimes the best thing you can do for your gifted child isn’t to push them further—it’s to walk beside them while they explore what lights them up. Remember, you are not just raising a student. You’re raising a lifelong learner.
✨ Parent to Parent: What’s one simple way you’ve followed your child’s curiosity outside of school? Share your ideas in the comments—we’d love to learn from you.
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